May 2007

The Samson Effect

SosaNice win tonight against *******’ Jeff Suppan and the Brewers. But oy. Greenie. Not a single hit since you shaved your locks.

We know you don’t like it. But I hope your wife was supportive. Because you’re still hot. Now you just look tougher. You’re a team player, and we apprecaite that. No regrets.

Sosa, by the way? Looks great with the buzz cut. Keep that, Jorge.

Last year, I was the only blogger (that I know) talking about grooming. My how things change!

xx,

Z

“My head is cold, man.”

Shawn Green says it all in this video capture. If you read his lips, he says (I wish I knew to whom!) "My head is cold, man." And then, defeatedly, "I don’t like it."

http://www.ifilm.com/efp

Aw, Shawnie. You had the best hair in baseball, hands down. But you sacrificed those luscious locks for the team–and to support David Wright. Anyone who’s been reading this blog for a while knows how I feel about hair! And its effect on playing! Shawn didn’t have such a great night last night… The Baseball Hair Gods have been roused.Picture_2161

For David Wright and Paul Lo Duca, however? Them skull caps might be just the thing to kick start their seasons into gear. In case you haven’t heard–and who hasn’t!?–David Wright decided to forget about the Goatee Watch. Nah, homeboy had to step it up and shave his head. Normally, this would just start a new David Wright Shaved Head Watch 2007 (David, you had quite nice hair yourself). Picture_2121

But soon Lo Duca followed suit. After all, he’s become D-Wright’s best buddy on the team now that Big Cliff’s gone. And then…oh boy…Carlos Beltran had clippers in hand, and peer pressure took down Met after Met–nixing their manes!–Finally including the well-coifed Shawn Green and David Newhan. A gesture of solidarity as a team, yes, and also support of its favorite little bro, David Wright.

Will Jose Reyes lose the locks? He’s the vain one on the team, it’s said. The mirror-hog. Will those famous twists wind up on the barber’s cold, hard floor? AND, how will the Hair Gods feel about that? Reyes has been red hot. Why mess with that?

Who wound up with the short end of the attractiveness stick after yesterday’s shear-a-thon? Well, I don’t want to name names…so, um…

Picture_214_1For the full report on the hair shenanigans, Matt at Metsblog linked to some GREAT INSIDER BLOGS that capture the fun of it all. Highly recommended, and thanks as always Matt!

So, would I shave my head for the team? Please. No *******’ way on Earth. Would Keith Hernandez? Nope. But he did say he "might have gone half-way and shaved my mustache." The stache!!! Good Lord. Keith did remind us, though–how could Mr. "Just For Men" Hair Color go shaving off his bread and butter? Hilarious.

Picture_014r_1Methinks my Mets buddy Rob might be loving this new trend. Just a theory.

So, I dunno. Three doubles in a row to start the game…a solid win…lots of laughter for the fans, watching all those chrome domes in the dugout… As a chick, I miss the hair. But as a Mets fan? I love seeing the boys bond any way they can.

I’m just a little worried about Shawn. His head is cold, man. Please, oh please don’t let his hot hitting follow suit.

xx,

Z

Which Perez Will We Get Tonight?

A victory against Barry Zito would be sweet, no? I’m hoping our Road Warrior Mets make midgets out of the Giants…but who will be pitching tonight? Which Oliver Perez will we see on the mound?

Strike Out Ollie…or Walk Ollie?

Perez2_2 Perez_2b

Come on, Perez. Banish the evil Walk Ollie to a place where the Rick Peterson don’t shine.

Wow us. Like we know you can.

xx,

Z

Nice, Cliff!

Cliff_cub_1Although he’s no longer my favorite Met, I thought I’d give a shout out to Cliff Floyd, whose 2-run homer yesterday may very well have won the Cubs the game…if not for…

RAIN.

The game was postponed and will be finished today.

Rain played Cliff Floyd.

Hate rain.

Update: Vindication for Cliffy as the Cubs win that game by 2 runs.

xx,

Z

Don’t Worry, Davey. It’s May.

Picture_177_1Anyone who saw last night’s game on SNY knows how frustrated and lost David Wright is looking these days. Now, when his tongue wags out, it’s not so much in concentration as it is wandering about aimlessly. Kind of like his swing.

But take heart, D-Wright. April is over.

One would imagine the odds are slim that David Wright has ever read T.S. Eliot’s masterpiece, The Waste Land. Perhaps he’ll find it now, though, and take solace in the first line especially:

April is the cruelest month, breeding

Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing

Memory and desire, stirring

Dull roots with spring rain.

Take "memory," David. Of your old swing, your former swagger, your misplaced confidence. Mixed with "desire"–to perform up to the high standards set upon your shoulders by you, by us, by your public image, by a 50+ million dollar contract.

But with May, the "dull roots" will more than stir. They’ll bloom, and a slump will turn into something productive–something alive and exciting.

Or maybe it’s just a case of 2007 being the "Bizarro" 2006. Have you ever seen the Star Trek episode Mirror Mirror? Goatee_spockRegular Spock has no goatee. Mirror-Spock does. Perhaps the David Wright Goatee Watch 2006 record of clean-shaven = better hitting has switched around, like Mirror-Spock…and so, if the rules have changed, it might be time, David. I never thought I’d say this, but maybe you should stop shaving so much.

You know, while you’re in the batting cages. Shawn Green admitted that he escaped his spring training slump by taking extra batting practice until he literally couldn’t any more. Follow suit, Davidsan. BP. BP. BP. And then more BP. And then some more.

So that May, indeed, will be less cruel.

xx,

Z

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