Johan mended the sacred talisman
At some point before the 2010 season began, Johan Santana stepped on a street gypsy’s talisman and broke it. The gypsy got angry. And thus his curse began.
During Johan’s every start this year, somewhere in the vicinity a greasy man with long hair–and a suspicious resemblance to Mad Men‘s Don Draper–would pop up blowing his saxophone. The cursed music distracted our Johan, causing his velocity to dip or prodding him to tip his pitches. But more, it bedazzled the Mets batters too, freezing run production and leaving Johan to flounder runless through his innings.
No one could deny the predicament: Sergio was branching out past the boardroom and into the ballpark.
Thankfully, it appears Johan has mended the broken sacred talisman. He’s hung it above his bed, and we have evidence already that the fix is working. Not only has Johan returned to prime form on the mound, but he’s even found power at the plate. Sergio has left the building. And instead of giving up home runs, Santana’s knocking ’em out.
Keep the talisman safe, Johan. Protect it from harm and kiss it every evening before bed. For its curse is also ours, and we must never again invoke that gypsy vengeance.